01/19/09 Sick of work January 19, 2009

First of all I want to wish Julie a happy birthday! I hope Dave & the girls take you out somewhere nice to celebrate!

Now that I wrote something happy I have no way to gracefully segue to the title of the blog post … so it’ll just have to be awkward.

Can it be possible to be sick of working? I’ve been working for over 25 years and I’m tired of it. It’s the same old crap every day. Get up, take a shower, get dressed, grab coffee and race to work. At work all you do is work for someone else to make them money, get treated like what you do doesn’t matter (this only happens when I work for a man – and hey that’s all I’ve ever worked for), wait for 5 o’clock, then go home. Just to have it start all over again the next day. I can’t decide if I am just sick of where I work or if I am sick of being someone else’s b*tch. This is going to shock some of you … but there are some days that I think I would be happier just staying home taking care of the kids. Despite the poop, there are also hugs and kisses.

The good news is the sun finally came out at work. But it’s too damn cold to go outside to enjoy it.

This cheery post is brought to you by … hmmm … meh.

01/15/09 In the moment January 15, 2009

There has been a lot out there on living in the moment. We are all so busy that sometimes it is hard to remember to do that occasionally. I got to do that on Sunday night. Thomas was at church and Sarah was sleeping (well, not really but she was in her crib). Christopher and I took out the recycling together and he was worried about monsters. I tried to reassure him that since the outside light was on that if there were any monsters they could not get us. A little while later I was laying on the futon and bean bag chair in the family room. Christopher sat down next to me and started telling me that the walls keep the roof up and that there are snakes in the roof that eat your head like this (insert mental image of his hands grabbing at his hair). He then told me that is how monsters eat you too (insert same mental image). Then he decided to lay down next to me with his face in front of mine. He was just so cute! Then we giggled. I do not know if he will remember the moment but I will. It was priceless.

I started graduate school on the 6th. I am starting with a communication class so that is helping me ease back into it. The next 10 classes are accounting classes and in April 2010 I will be done! I was originally told that two of my classes would be waived but since I only had one upper division communication class I have to take the one that I am in. It’s not a bad class so far. It started out with communication and this week we are on groups and teams. I got 100% last week for both participation and my first paper. Woohoo! Being back in school does not seem odd but then I say that I am in “graduate school” and it sort of freaks me out. I have spent most of my life not being a college graduate and now, not only am I a college graduate but I am going beyond that. It does not change who I am but then again it changes me. It is not like I walk around with a swagger that says “Hey look at me, I’m a college graduate.” But then again I have knowledge that I did not have before. I am getting a little too existential.

I am really tired of winter. There is no break from it. In the bay area we seemed to have a week of nice weather in January. It was sort of a break from whatever winter we had and was a respite until spring. There does not seem to be any sort of respite up here. It was cold. It snowed. It rained. It is grey and it is cold. I understand why depression rates up here are so high. The lack of sun and warmth sort of sucks the life out of you. However, to find a silver lining somewhere … it was not dark at 5pm when I left work yesterday. So there is hope and light somewhere soon.